Bevy Smith was a late bloomer, at the age of 55, she is now revelling in this new stage of her life. She has done the work and walked the walk to get to where she is today. Her journey was not an easy one, as at 38 she was a successful fashion advertising executive living what most people considered a dream life. Smith realized that despite all her success, she was only pretending to be happy and decided it was time for a change.
This realization came from lessons taught by her mother Lolly: don't settle and never be afraid to go against the status quo. Even when faced with judgement from others, Smith stands strong in her convictions which come from her mother's example of being comfortable in her skin and bucking societal expectations for women in 1965; for example, by keeping her maiden name and working outside of the home despite having two children back-to-back.
Her mother has been an inspiration to her, with her ability to talk to her children about real life and the virtues of going your own way. At 94 years old, she is still finding ways to figure out and define her own version of happiness. She cooks for herself and keeps her home exactly as she sees fit. Enjoys champagne and R-rated films and maintain her glamour and sex appeal.
One of the best lessons Smith's mother ever taught was the literal beauty in aging; at 50 years old, she could pass for 35. Smith encourages others not to be coy about their age but rather make peace with it or prepare for an entire wardrobe of gloves and turtlenecks.
Smith encourages everyone not to settle but instead take each day as it comes and try to make it better than the last.
As an entrepreneur who keeps multiple revenue streams and who has travelled solo to six continents, she believes that settling can be a sinister thing, leading to sleepless nights of questioning if there is more to life than what one already knows. In her journey towards self-discovery, Smith experienced a period of time she calls "Bitchy Bevy," in which she made mistakes such as believing snarkiness was beneficial to her career and that the colour brown looked good on her. After quitting her job, Smith was determined to get away from this persona and become happier with herself. Even as recently as last year(2021), Smith found herself struggling with insecurities when comparing herself to others succeeding in spaces where she had previously done well; however, she reminded herself that she had already decided not to pursue those opportunities. Through this experience, Smith has learned the importance of being authentic and rooted in the present moment rather than worrying about the future or second-guessing decisions.
She suggests that discovering your authentic self requires an honest assessment of one's own desires, worthiness, and identity. She recommends a self-help ritual called “Take a note, give a note” to help in this process. This practice involves taking a moment to assess what someone else has that you believe you deserve, and then extending grace by congratulating them on their success. Smith also cites the famous quote from Shakespeare: “To thine own self be true” as an important reminder for her readers. She believes that the key to uncovering one's true identity is asking oneself three questions: Who am I at my core? How am I being perceived? How would I like to be perceived? With these questions in mind, Smith encourages readers to excavate their inner selves and discover who they really are.
Bevy has learned to discover her authentic self after 55 years. She found that at her core, she is looking to authentically connect with people, rather than networking. Always curious, adventurous, kind and she has big dreams. Despite the nickname of "Bitchy Bevy", she decided to change her life and let “Little Brown Bevy” out to play. She says “Little Brown Bevy” is a nerdy girl who loves museums and architecture and enjoys being alone without being lonely. Through this shift in spirit, Bevy became a better person and was able to stand in front of others with no bravado or anything to prove. Now an award-winning radio and TV host, author, actress and creative consultant, she shows up as her most vibrant self with a tell-it-like-it-is attitude. Her final message was that; it's never too late to bloom!
Watch the original Ted talk for yourself: https://www.ted.com/talks/bevy_smith_how_to_discover_your_authentic_self_at_any_age/